Finding Their People: Helping Middle Schoolers Build Community

Middle school is a tough place to be. Students are figuring out who they are, where they fit, and how to navigate the rollercoaster of their early teen years. This is the stage when peers become the center of their world, often more influential than adults, routines, or even academics. As teachers, we cannot remove all the challenges that come with adolescence, but we can help make the transition a little easier by encouraging students to “find their people.”

When students do not have a group or activity they feel connected to, they are often unaware of the opportunities available to them. Some are shy; others assume they will not fit in; many simply do not know what exists beyond their immediate friend group or what they have seen in the hallway. Encouraging them to branch out, explore new interests, and discover a community where they feel they belong can make a profound difference, not just in their school experience, but in their confidence, motivation, and overall well-being.

So how do we help them begin that process?

One simple strategy is to talk about upcoming tryouts, auditions, or season start dates. Sometimes all a student needs is to hear an adult mention, “Hey, soccer tryouts start next week,” or “The art club is taking new members this month.” These gentle nudges can spark curiosity they did not know they had. When we normalize trying new things, students start to believe that these opportunities might be meant for them, too.

Another powerful approach is to talk about activities you enjoyed when you were their age. Students love hearing these stories, especially the surprising or humorous ones. I always made my students laugh when I told them that, at 5'3", I played basketball! Be vulnerable and open about any activities that did not go perfectly. Sharing the things you tried, the ones you loved, and even the ones you “failed” at helps students see that exploring new interests is part of growing up. When they hear an adult admit, “I was not great at this, but I had fun,” it gives them permission to try something without fear of embarrassment.

And finally, share your passions. Whether you love reading, photography, gardening, coding, or running, let your students see you genuinely excited about something. Passion is contagious. When students see adults pursuing what they enjoy, even outside of school, they begin to understand that interests can become lifelong sources of joy, connection, and identity.

Helping students “find their people” does not require grand programs or elaborate initiatives. Often, it is the everyday moments, the quick announcements, the personal stories, the small invitations, that open the door for a student to step into a new community. By encouraging curiosity, vulnerability, and exploration, we empower our middle schoolers to build connections that support them through some of their most formative years.