Domestic Violence - The Hidden Crime
Myths of the Potential Abuser
Domestic and Relationship Violence in Gay and Lesbian Relationships
Are You Abused
General Domestic Violence Information
No Contact Orders
Violation of a Protection Order
Idaho Domestic Violence 24 Hour Hotlines
Felony Offender DataBase
Other Important Numbers
ISU Campus Security Department
“The mission of ISU Campus Security is (1) to provide a peaceful and secure environment from the threat of physical harm, property loss, and disruptive activity; and (2) to promote mutual cooperation and conflict resolution in establishing a positive social atmosphere in which effective learning can take place.”
In this country, six million women are beaten each year by an intimate partner and four thousand women are murdered. Heterosexual men are most frequently the perpetrators of domestic violence and women are most often the victims (95%). However, it is important to remember that men can also be victims of a domestic violence and that violence also occurs in same-sex relationships.
Very few will tell anyone - a friend, a relative, a neighbor or the police. Victims of dometic violence come from all walks of life, all cultures, all income groups, all ages, all religions. They share feelings of helplessness, isolation, guilt, fear and shame.
The United States has been called the most violent society in the western world. Violence against children, parents, and elders is gaining increasing attention by researchers and practitioners. There is an increase in the number of people attacked by strangers on the street and in their homes. There is no single "cause" for this violence.
Myths of the Potential Abuser
"Jealousy is a sign of Love"
For the Heterosexual and Gay and Lesbian Community
The Potential Abuser
Are you interested in how to predict whether you are about to become involved with someone who will be physically/sexually abusive? Below is a list of behaviors to what out for.
JEALOUSY - At the beginning of a relationship the abuser will always say that the jealousy is a sign of love. Jealousy Has Nothing To Do With Love! It is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness. The abuser will question you about who you talk to, accuse you of flirting or be jealous of the time you spend with family, friends and children.
CONTROLLING - In the beginning the abuser will say that the controlling behavior is because of concern for your safety, your need to sue your time well, or your need to make good decisions. The abuser will be angry if you are "late" from anywhere, and will question you closely about where you went and who you talked to.
QUICK INVOLVEMENT - The abuser will come on like a whirlwind claiming "love at first sight" and will tell you flattering things such as "You're the only person I could ever talk to" or "I've never felt loved like this by anyone." The abuser desperately needs someone to control and will pressure you in to commitment.
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS - The abuser is very dependent on you for all his needs. The abuser expects you to be the perfect everything, i.e., lover, friend, wife, mother. The abuser may say things like "If you loved me," and "I'm all you need." You are expected to take of all his needs both physical and emotional.
ISOLATION - The abuser tries to cut you off from all family, friends and outside sources. If you have friends, the abuser accuses you of wanting to sleep with them. If you are close to family you are "tied to the apron strings."
BLAMES OTHERS FOR HIS FEELINGS - The abuser manipulates you by making you feel you are responsible for his bad moods and failures. The abuser will tell you "You make me mad," or "You're huring me by not doing what I tell you to do," or "I can't help being angry." He will convince you that you control how he feels.
HYPERSENSITIVITY - The abuser is easily insulted and claims his feeling are "hurt" when he is actually mad. The abuser takes the slightest setbacks as personal attacks. He will "rant and rave" about the injustice of things being done to him that are just a part of everyday living, such as having to work overtime or having to help with chores.
CRUELTY TO ANIMALS AND CHILDREN - The abuser often punishes animals brutally or is insensitive to their pain and suffering. The abuser may expect children to be capable of doing things beyond their ability. He might whip a two year old for wetting his diaper, or he will tease children until they cry.
"PLAYFULL" USE OF FORCE IN SEX - The abuser may like to throw you down and hold you down during sex. The abuser may want to act out fantasies during sex where you are helpless. He may sulk, use anger or manipulate you into complieance for sex even when you are ill. He often demands sex immediately after fighting with you or beating you.
VERBAL ABUSE - The abuser will say things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, degrading you, cursing you. He may often remind you that you are "stupid" and that you cannot get along without him. He may wake you up to verbally abuse youand refuse to let you go to sleep.
RIGID GENDER ROLES - The abuser expects you to serve him. The abuser will make you stay at home and insist that you obey him in all things-even things that are criminal in nature. The abuser will see you as inferior, unable to be a whole person without him.
DR. JEKYLL & MR. HYDE - Victims are confused by their abuser's sudden changes. He may be happy one minute and sad the next. He may be nice then suddenly explode. This does not indicate a mental problem. Explosiveness and mood swings are typical of abusers who beat their partners. These behaviors are related to other characteristics such as hypersensitivity.
PAST HISTORY OF BATTERY - The abuser may say he has hit people in the past, but that they made him do it, or that they attacked him first. The victim may hear from relatives or ex-partners that he is abusive. The abuser will beat any partner he is with! Situational circumstances do not make a person an abusive personality.
THREATS OF VIOLENCE - This would include any threat of physical force meant to control you, such as "I'll slap your mouth off," or "I'll break your neck." An abuser may also make threats against your children or other members of your family. He will excuse this behavior saying "Everyone talks like that."
BREAKING OR STRIKING OBJECTS - This behavior is used as punishment. Breaking treasured possessions, beating on tables with his fists, throwing objects at or near you is mostly used to terrorize you into submission.
ANY FORCE DURING AN ARGUMENT - This may involve holding you down, physically restraining you from leaving the room, pushing, shoving, or any other way forcing you to listen to what he has to say.
MAY be present, but NOT consistently true:
- Substance Abuse
- Male-on-Male Violence
- "Traditional" Attitudes
- Controlling Personality Type
DOMESTIC & RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE IN GAY & LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS
Abusive relationships are not limited to heterosexual relationships. Partners in a gay or lesbian relationship may be abusive as well. Characteristics and behaviors of the gay or lesbian abuser are much the same as the heterosexual abuser.
The gay and lesbian victim may feel even more alone and vulnerable than the heterosexual victim because many people are not aware that this happens in the gay/lesbian community, or they choose to ignore it because of controversial issues.
For more information regarding gay and lesbian domestic violence visit:
Some domestic violence is life threatening. All domestic violence is dangerous, but some abusers are more likely to kill than others and some are more likely to kill at specific times. The likelihood of homicide is greater when these factors are present.
- Threats of homicide or suicide. The abuser has threatened to kill him/herself, the victim, the children, relatives, friends, or others.
- Fantasies of homicide or suicide. The more detailed the plan and the more available the method, the greater the risk.
- Weapons. The abuser possesses weapons and has threatened to use them in the past against the victim, the children, or him/herself. If the abuser has a history of arson, fire should be considered a weapon.
- "Ownership" of the victim. The abuser says things like "If I can’t have you no one can!" or "I would rather see you dead than have you divorce me!" The abuser believes s/he is absolutely entitled to the obedience and loyalty of the victim.
- Centrality of victim to the abuser. The abuser idolizes the victim, depends heavily on him/her to organize and sustain the abuser’s life, or has isolated him/herself from others.
- Separation violence. Abuser believes s/he is about to lose the victim.
- Repeated outreach to law enforcement. There is a history of violence, as indicated by calls to the police.
- Escalation of risk-taking. The abuser begins to act without regard to legal or social consequences that previously constrained his/her violence.
- Hostage-taking. Between 75% and 90% of all hostage taking in the U.S. is related to domestic violence.
- Acute depression or other mental health problems
- Drug or alcohol consumption
- Pet abuse
Victims, male or female, may possess some or all of the following characteristics:
- Feel socially isolated, lonely.
- Feel guilty. Blame self for beatings. Accept responsibility for the batterer's behavior.
- Feel s/he has no power or control.
- Feel ambivalent or confused.
- Feel embarrassed about admitting s/he is being beaten or that s/he has remained in the violent relationship.
- Have low self-esteem. Often believe s/he cannot survive independently.
- Believe the myths about battering.
- Deny his/her anger over the beatings, but may blow up over minor irritations.
- Often feel depressed and/or fearful.
- Believe in traditional, stereotypical sex-roles.
- Put the needs and feelings of other family members far above own needs.
- Have a feeling of helplessness and lack of alternatives.
- Experience stress reactions with psycho-physiological complications that may include: fatigue, backaches, headaches, inability to sleep.
Victims of domestic violence may suffer from a variety of physical as well as psychological injuries. Below are several indicators of domestic violence:
- Frequent visits to doctor's office
- Multiple sites of injury
- Gastrointestinal problems
- Eating disorders
- Psychological distress: depression, suicidal ideation, anxiety
- Evidence of sexual assault
- Indication of injury to breast or abdominal area of pregnant female
Are You Abused?
Does the person you love:
- "Track" all of your time?
- Constantly accuse you of being unfaithful?
- Discourage your relationships with family and friends?
- Prevent you from working or attending school?
- Criticize you for little things?
- Anger easily when drinking or using other drugs?
- Control all finances and force you to account in detail what you spend?
- Humiliate you in front of others?
- Destroy personal property or sentimental items?
- Hit, punch, slap, kick, or bite you or your children?
- Use or threaten to use a weapon against you?
- Threaten to hurt you or your children?
- Force you to have sex against your will?
If you find yourself saying yes to any of these - it's time to get help.
The central element in an abusive relationship is control. Domestic abuse is destructive behavior intended to control others. Abuse is not always as clear as an act of physical violence. Mort subtle forms of abuse may be expressed as insults, threats, isolation or economic deprivation. Abuse usually grows more intense over time, and physical abuse has the potential to be lethal.
Don't Ignore The Problem
- Talk to someone. Part of the abuser's power comes from secrecy. Victims are often ashamed to let anyone know about intimate family problems. Go to a friend or neighbor, or call a domestic violence hotline to talk to a counselor.
- Plan ahead and know what you will do if you are attacked again. If you decide to leave, choose a place to go; set aside some money. Put important papers together marriage license, birth certificates, checkbook - in a place where you can get them quickly.
- Learn to think independently. Try to plan for the future and set goals for yourself.
If You Are Hurt - What You Can Do
Call the police, sheriff or ISU Campus Security. Assault, even by family members, is a crime. The police often have information about shelts and other agencies that help victims of domestic violence.
Leave or have someone you trust come and stay with you. Go to a battered women's shelter - Call the Domestic Violence Hotline or Family Services Alliance (232-0742) to locate a shelter near you. If you believe that you and your children are in danger, leave immediately!
Get medical attention from your doctor or hospital emergency room. Ask the staff to photograph your injuries and keep detailed records in case you decide to take legal action.
Contact your family court for information about a civil protection order or a domestic violence order.
Have You Hurt Someone in Your Family?
Accept the fact that your violent behavior will destroy your family. Be aware that you break the law when you physically hurt someone.
Take responsibility for your actions and get help.
When you feel tension building, get away. Work off the anger through a walk, a project or a sport.
Call a domestic violence hotline or Family Services Alliance (232-0742) and ask about their batterer's treatment program and other counseling and support groups for people who batter.
The High Costs of Domestic Violence
Men and women who follow their parents' example and use violence to solve conflicts are teaching the same destructive behavior to their children.
Jobs can be lost or careers stalled because of injuries, arrests or harassment.
Violence May Even Result In Death!
General Domestic Violence Information
The resources available for information related to domestic violence and places of safety and shelters are listed at the bottom of this page. Shelters provide food, shelter, clothing and referral services in a supportive atmosphere. Safe homes provide similar services with a volunteer family in the community. In some areas of Idaho motels will provide emergency housing and those with longer shelter needs are referred to nearby shelters.
Emergency medical help is available from local doctors, hospitals or clinics and their numbers are also listed on this pamphlet. Call your local doctor, hospital or clinic for more information.
You also have the right to sue for losses suffered as a result of the abuse, including medical and moving expenses, loss of earnings or support, and other out-of-pocket expenses for injuries sustained and damage to your property. This can be done without an attorney in small claims court if the total amount claimed is under $3,000.
Domestic Violence is a Crime
Many battered Victim’s Programs across the country offer emergency shelter and other services for violent families. In Idaho, there are 26 such programs with a variety of services. If someone at home is harming you, join the many people who are now saying “NO MORE” and winning support.
Cycle of Violence
Research shows that violence can be averted or diminished when authorities intervene. Otherwise, the cycle of violence and abuse can continue, against you and your children, and may increase in frequency and severity. If you are a victim of domestic violence, BREAK THE CYCLE, ask for assistance.
No Contact Orders
If someone has hurt you and they are arrested, they may be issued a No Contact Order as a condition of their release from jail. The No Contact Order may allow the arrested person to return home, only when escorted by a law enforcement officer, to obtain some personal items needed for hygiene and/or tools/equipment for work. The No Contact Order may also order the arrested person to stay away from you, your children, your place of work and your children’s schools. You should not attempt to contact the arrested person either.
The purpose of the No Contact order is for you to have time to get the help you need to stop the cycle of violence.
You have the right to file a petition in magistrate court to solicit an order of protection from domestic abuse. This page explains protection orders.
Idaho passed a law in 1988 that can help you get refuge from further abuse. This is the Domestic Violence Crime Prevention Act (Idaho Code 39-6302).
The law safeguards spouses, former spouses, persons related by blood or marriage, persons who live or have lived together and persons who have had a child or children in common, whether they have been married or have ever lived together. A Protection Order is a court order for a person to stop harming you.
A Protection Order Can Stop:
- the person from harming you and/or your children
- the person who has been harming you from entering your home, school, or where you work
- Direct the person who injured you to get counseling
- Direct the abuser to leave the household
- Retain the children in your care
How Do I Get One?
A Protection Order may be acquired WITHOUT a lawyer. Applications, called “Petitions,” are available from the Clerk of the District Court in the county where you live. Tell the Clerk you require protection from domestic violence. This service is FREE!
- Go to your County Courthouse or your local shelter.
- Ask the Clerk or shelter program for a protection order.
- They will give you a form to complete, called a “Petition.”
“Petition” is a legal document. It is imperative that you understand that you are under oath and have to tell the truth when filling one out.
How Do I Fill Out The Form?
Don’t let the form alarm you. A lot of facts are required by the law to seek protection. Just answer the questions as completely as you can in your own words. If you need help in filling out the forms, contact one of the programs listed on the back of this pamphlet.
The person who fills out the form, usually the victim, is called the Petitioner.” The person a victim requires protection from is the Respondent. The petition can be filed in the county you live in, where you are temporarily living, or where the respondent is living.
The most significant part is to explain in your own words why you are scared fo being injured. Explain how you were injured. Be Precise about violent conduct or threats. Include dates, places, injuries, if children were present, and if a weapon was used write down what kind. Write down everything you can about this abuse. This Is Imperative. The judge will use what you write to decide if you need help or not. If you believe you are in danger, write it down. The form is in English. Ask for help if you need it. After you are done, deliver the completed form to the clerk.
- Answer each question as completely as you can.
- Petitioner means the person who was injured.
- Respondent means the person who caused the injury(s).
- Write about how, when and where you were inured.
- Deliver the completed form to the clerk.
In Bannock County, which involves Pocatello and Chubbuck, you can contact the Janet C. Anderson Gender Center at 282-HOPE and 282-2805 or contact Family Services Alliance at 282-0742 and 251-4357.
What Happens Next?
The clerk will deliver the form to the judge in person or by telephone. After you visit with the judge and a temporary order is issued, you are required to return to the clerks office to pick up your copy. The judge may issue you a temporary protection order at that time, and will set a hearing date within 14 days to decide whether to issue a full 90 day “Protection Order.” YOU MUST BE PRESENT AT THIS HEARING! Follow through! The clerk will notify as to you when and where the hearing is.
If the judge endorses a temporary protection order or assigns a date for the protection order hearing, law enforcement will serve a copy to the Respondent.
It is imperative that you read the complete protection order. You may be required to attend an orientation class or come across an error which must be pointed out to the clerk at once.
ALWAYS KEEP A CERTIFIED COPY OF THE PROTECTION ORDER WITH YOU! Deliver copies to your employer, your child’s daycare and everyone else who needs to know about the order. Keep a certified copy to show to a law enforcement officer if you require help.
- The judge will decide if you need protection.
- The judge may give you up to 14 days of safety (A temporary protection order).
- If it is issued, get your copy from the Court Clerk.
- A court date will be set to decide if an extended period of protection will be given.
- Attend Your Hearing! This will be for a 90 day Protection Order.
- ALWAYS keep a certified copy of the protection order with you.
If you are awarded a protection order, it is usually for 90 days and can be renewed for 1 year periods if you require more protection. If you do need to have it renewed, remember to do this before it expires. You can petition for a change in this order at anytime.
Violation of a Protection Order is Serious!
A violation of any provision of a protection order is punishable by up to 1 year in jail and a fine up to $5,000.00.
Once a judge has issued a protection order to you, and the respondent (person you asked protection from) is served with notice of the protection order, it is then against the law to break any part of the protection order. The majority of respondents take this protection order seriously. However, some do violate the order. It is imperative to notify the authorities and to keep yourself as safe as possible. Phone emergency 911 or your local law enforcement office and tell them about the violation. Collect any facts you can to assist the officer. Do not hold false hopes that the protection order will be all you require to be safe, especially if forcible violations develop.
- Phone 911, ISU Campus Security or your local law enforcement office to report the protection order violation.
- If there are witnesses, get their names and ask them to stay until law enforcement shows up.
- Remember that for some respondents, the protection order is only a piece of paper. Your safety comes first.
Do not depend on the Protection Order as your only source of safety!
You may be eligible for victim’s compensation. Call 1-800-950-2110 for further information. This fund can directly reimburse victims of crime for related medical and counseling expenses not covered by other resources.
|IDAHO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PROGRAMS WITH 24-HOUR HOTLINES|
|AMERICAN FALLS - Power Co. Domestic Violence Support||800 225-2311|
|BLACKFOOT - Bingham Crisis Center||680-3007|
|BOISE - Boise WCA Women & Children Crisis Center||343-7025|
|FORT HALL - Shoshone/Bannock Victims of Crime||478-4000|
|IDAHO FALLS - Domestic Violence Intervention Center||525-1820|
|POCATELLO - Family Services Alliance/Janet C. Anderson Gender Resource Center||251-4357/282-4673|
|REXBURG - Family Crisis Center||800-962-5601 or 624-3068|
|SODA SPRINGS - Caribou Co. Domestic Violence Center||547-2561|
|TWIN FALLS - Volunteers Against Violence||733-0100|
|Idaho Council on Domestic Violence & Victim Assistance||1-800-669-3176|
|NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 24-HOUR HOTLINE 1-800-779-7233|
|EMERGENCY DIAL 911|
If a criminal complaint is filed, you have the right to:
- be given prior notice of and be present at all criminal proceedings;
- be heard upon request at all criminal proceedings considering a plea of guilty and sentencing of defendant;
- be given the opportunity to talk with the prosecutor and be advised of any proposed plea bargain;
- be allowed to refuse an interview by the defendant or on the defendant’s behalf;
- be consulted by the pre-sentence investigator;
- the return of property when it is no longer needed as evidence;
- be notified when the defendant is released or escapes from custody (through the Idaho Dept. of Corrections VINE Program).
If you wish to invoke your rights, you must call the City Attorney’s Office at 234-6148 or contact the Pocatello Police Victim Witness Coordinator at 234-6121.
Victim Information and Notification Everyday Program
The Idaho Department of Correction has instituted a crime victims notification service, known as the VINE (Victim Information and Notification Everyday) program. VINE is a toll-free, 24-hour telephone hotline. (At this time VINE is not accessible through the internet.) Users can use the VINE program to obtain information regarding an offender's custody status and to register to receive automatic status-update notification. The Idaho Commission of Pardons & Parole is a partner in the VINE project so that VINE also offers parole and probation information including parole hearing, case expiration and parole eligibility dates. The offender will not know who is registered with VINE. If the registered person is not home, VINE will leave a message on an answering machine. If there is no answer, VINE will keep calling back until 24 hours have passed. One limitation of the system is that it only includes offenders who are housed in Idaho IDOC facilities. In other words, it does not apply to offenders being housed in other states.
Victims may call the IDOC's VINE Line at 1-877-VINE-4-ID (1-877-846-3443) to register. You can learn more about the VINE program by downloading the IDOC's VINE pamphlet using the following VINE Pamphlet Link. You can learn more about the IDOC's victim services, in general, by clicking on this link to Department of Correction Victim Services Web Page.
Felony Offender Data Base
The Idaho Department of Correction has an internet search engine which makes information about felony offenders, such as location and parole dates, available to the general public. You can go to that web page by clicking on this link to their Offender Data Base Search. This data base includes information regarding offenders who may be on probation (as opposed to the VINE program which only provides information regarding people that are housed at a IDOC facility).
Contacting the Idaho Department of Correction and the Idaho Commission of Pardons & Parole
Victims can contact the Idaho Department of Correction and the Idaho Commission of Pardons & Parole at the following addresses and phone numbers:
Idaho Department of Corrections
1299 N. Orchard Suite #110
Boise, ID 83706
Idaho Commission of Pardons & Parole
Boise, ID 83705
More information about these Idaho agencies can be accessed at their web sites. You can go to those web sites by clicking on the following links: Idaho Department of Correction or Idaho Commission of Pardons & Parole.
|OTHER IMPORTANT NUMBERS|
|Pocatello Police Department||234-6100|
|Pocatello Free Clinic||233-6245|
|Portneuf Medical Center||239-1000|
|Bannock County Sheriff||236-7114|
|Bannock County Court Services||236-7083|
|Bannock Co. Victim/Witness Coordinator||236-7824|
|Idaho Dept. of Corrections VINE Program||1-877-846-3443|
|ISU Campus Security||282-2515|
|ISU Student Affairs||282-2794|
|ISU Student Health||282-2330|
|ISU Counseling & Testing||282-2130|